Out of the blue

Out of the blue

this evening a call

a Maidstone number

Not one my phone knows or I for that matter .

“Hello I’m trying to get hold of Harriet. Is she there?”

a voice I have not heard for over a decade but instantly recognisable to me.

Lindy? Is it you?

“Yes, sorry who is this?”

You sound confused. Are you? You rang me.

Fear, surprise and concern hit me milliseconds before the thoughts that start ringing all the fight flight responses in my brain.

But something rings clearer and cuts through my thoughts.

That voice. It is softer, gentler than when last we spoke.

Confusion in your tone.

Who here is more confused? You must know my number. It has not changed in 30 years.

Playing for time, fear clawing at my throat.

“I know it has been a long time and as you have rung you must know who this is?”

“Sorry to trouble you – goodbye”

The line goes dead.

Silence all around except in my head.

Why were you calling? Where is our child?. How come you are searching for her? Don’t you know? Is this a trap? Is it over?

Or has it just begun?

You! What I did you want? Were you really confused or is it another stunt?

All night I turn it over in my mind a mother worried about her child or an evil monster with a cunning plan.

A trap or a scam.

Don’t take the bait

Don’t return the call

JUST WAIT

All the next day I worry

Waiting the inevitable knock on the door

What is the game? Another frame.

Did I hear genuine concern

Pacing the floor.

I sense I heard a person in distress grasping at straws.

No anger, no more Pity perhaps? Sadness in fact.

I conclude that the voice I heard was not the voice I knew a decade ago but a voice from much earlier. Gentle, caring, soft and warm.

Christ what am I saying? Did I hear regret?

Has she lost her too? A coded cry for help. An anxious parent missing their child

In radio silence at last understanding my world

Another full moon and sleepless night. Just wait.

My worries grow, needing to know

where in the World you are my little nut brown Hare.

Keep safe and spare a thought for those who love you there and back.

For those who await that call from out of the blue.

12 December 2020