Department for Constitutional Affairs
Contact arrangements should be discussed with your children and their needs and wishes taken into account.
There is no right set of arrangements that will suit everyone.
Contact visits are meant to be enjoyable, but they can be stressful at first, for all concerned. They are worth persevering with, because they can benefit you all.
It is helpful for children to have a regular pattern of contact visits.
The pattern for contact visits should be established as soon after separation as possible.
The best pattern of visits will vary with the age of the child.
Shorter, more frequent visits may work better for younger children.
If visits are very short, or very infrequent, it may be difficult for a parent and child to feel relaxed together.
Overnight stays, where possible, are important in allowing the parent and child to experience ordinary daily routines together.
Failure by either parent to stick to the arrangements for contact may be distressing for a child and make them feel less secure.
It is not always helpful to see arrangements after separation as a simple extension of what has gone before - you may wish to do different activities together now, see each other at different times, etc.
Because emotions are often raw following a separation, it may be difficult for parents to agree on contact arrangements. If there is no practical alternative a contact centre may be used temporarily.
If a child does not want to go on a contact visit it is important to try to understand why and to discuss this with those involved.
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